Cycling jokes (and a cat)

Let’s face it, cyclists sometimes take themselves a bit too seriously. The knowledge that you’re making a choice that’s good for the community can often spill over into righteousness.

Perhaps we need to remind ourselves that ‘the power of example is that it is exemplary, not declarative, much less declamatory’, as the genius Theodore Dalrymple put it.

Or perhaps we just need to tell a few cycling jokes. Here are a few half-decent ones I’ve gleaned from the internet, including the requisite picture of a cat (don’t shoot the messenger):

The other day I was riding my bike down a narrow, twisting, mountain road. A driver approaching very slowly up the hill started beeping his horn and yelling at me. “PIG! PIG!!” he shouted, “PIG! PIG!!” Naturally, I shouted back something unrepeatable. Then I turned the corner and promptly collided with a pig.

A tandem rider is stopped by a police car. “What have I done, officer?” asks the rider. “Perhaps you didn't notice sir, but your wife fell off your bike half a mile back”. “Oh, thank God for that”, says the rider, “I thought I'd gone deaf!”

“I've really had it with my dog,” said a guy to his neighbour. “He'll chase anyone on a bicycle”. “Hmmm, that is a problem”, said the neighbour, “What are you thinking of doing about it?” “I guess the only answer is to confiscate his bike.”

A pedestrian stepped off the curb and into the road without looking and promptly got knocked flat by a passing cyclist. “You were really lucky there,” said the cyclist. “What on earth are you talking about! That really hurt!” said the pedestrian, rubbing his head. “Well, usually I drive a bus,” the cyclist replied.

User login

To prevent automated spam submissions leave this field empty.
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Enter the characters shown in the image.